burning my head.

ok. i try my hard to close my eyes and just go to bed.. dreaming away. i have a long journey with mr.taxi tomorrow, but ... i still cant shut my eyes. the thoughts of walking on the beach, singing in a square box mini karaoke thing, talking and laughing are on my mind. should i really erased all these things? it's too beautiful to be forgotten. what month is it? October? my, times fly so fucking fast. the good news is, December is coming in a single eyes blink. Christmas! o yea. and my bestfriend will getting married on the same month. i'll be the bridesmaid. *ehem. lots of things going on my head right now, i hate the 'why & how' questions things. i so fucking hate these. why dont i just go with flow? let things stay and goes as the way there are? why? see. i hate this why thingy. i kept busy collecting for a stone when all the while, i have diamond in my hand. no, in heart. granted is it? took for granted? hell yea. it came to realization of what i needs the most, and yet, i let it slipped away from my hand.. and from my sight, like for ever. just like that. how come i didnt see when it was there, i mean, when the diamond was there? how moron i was. but, just like everybody's doing, we have to live on. no matter how sorry i am, i have to live my life. things had happened. and i cant changed it. only if i can. how i wish. is there any other way to rewind and go back to the moments you were truly happy? id do anything to get one chance. to fix everything. but fixing things is not easy. hey, good thing comes with a little sweat, right? so, let's the sweat roll. HAHA

i always heart sunset.
ah well, forget this crap.
i need to rest.
and i want to smile on my dream.
just like this kitten. lol

laugh. it cure the confuse heart :D
so, let's laugh together. HAHA

my cousins, sister and i. cam-whore.
:D

nitey nite guys. and girls. and kids. and everyone else. HAHA

take me back to the arms i love.

Good morning, sunshine!











my, i miss this :')

Yana.

i got a call from Yana, my housemate & my workmate this afternoon.

Her: Yang, ko balik bsuk ka?
Me: iya.. nek taxi.. huhu
Her: ok suda ko?
Me: ok, buli suda p salun
Her: haha, da suda aku jumpa salun favourite, nt ku bawa ko
Me: waaa.. siok2, ari nam la.
Her: ya, harus. hari isnin kita induksi yang.
Me: yaka?? cepat tau.
Her: ya, jadi kita landing d kk ah. ko mau landing d sandakan ka? cuti trus tu
Me: kk la juga. dekat lg balik ranau.
Her: eee.. tia sabar aku ko balik yang. senyum2 suda aku ni. boring btul teda ko. lama suda aku tia makan kuih campiang ni. teda ko.
Me: hahahaha see u 2mrw ah!
Her: Ya, hehe harus!! cepat2 la ko balik.

we promised to find some kain and buat baju kurung together. hehe but looks like i have to postpone buat baju kurung baru. i need cash for the induksi. haishh. neway, here's Yana and me, dinner at Bistro, Habour City. 2 days before i got really sick. haha

wish for a safe journey tomorrow!
amen.

back to normal

will going back to the land of org utan tomorrow. not in a mood tho, i was quite exciting of having days off til next week indeed, but . . . i need this job. there's some forms i need to fill in and such. im leaving home, til next friday. yeaa. i'm coming home for deepavali. lol. off to kl this coming monday, oh gosh, im running out of cash :(

anyways. finger crossed for the fine friday. i dunno what to say to the boss. haha

that's it for now.

xx

Serena and Blair

xoxo

other way to save your money.

yes, there's other way for you to save your money.

there's no Maybank here in Ranau since many years ago, i dunno why they shut the bank. dont have any clue at all. so, this afternoon, i went out to cimb bank for the withdrawing purpose.
First attempt, FAILED.
second attempt, SUCCESS.

curiosity, i re-check the balance in my saving account.
and omg! some of the amount was gone missing!

i was a bit shaky when i saw the missing amount at first.
huhu how come leh?
i called Maybank and report to Cimb after that, the money will only be deposited in my account in a MONTH. pretty dayem sad.
T___T

but my dad said
"ngam la juga, anggap seja kna simpan dalam account, supaya ko tia guna2"

make sense, somehow.

Morning Breeze.

it's almost 4am! and im still awake, just like months before.

I dont feel GOOD. from yesterday til now, i dont feel good. it's like something bad is going to happen in anytime soon. cross fingers for everything to be just fine. . God, hear me out :(

A song is not a song

until you connects with the song ♥

HAHA it suddenly popped in my mind. im so freaking in love with Lee Hom's song now. especially the lyric. whenever i listen to any song, the first thing im going to listen is the lyric. i'll categorized the song as Kiut song, Kesian song and such. it's sad to know how some composer compose a song with a random lyric.

anyways, off to bed now. Sweet dreams, sleep tight guys. to someone out there, wear mr.blankie :) it's cold down here.

Good Morning all :D

xoxo

Don't Let Me Go

I can see your shadow lying in the moonlight
I can hear your heartbeat playing on my right side
Every night I long for this, makin' up what I miss
I can hear you breathing letting out a sad sigh

You tried so hard to hide your scars
Always on your guard

Don't, don't let me go
Don't make me hold on when you're not
Don't, don't turn away
What can I say so you wont
No don't, don't let me go...

I can see the skyline fading in the distance
Tears are comin' down
I'm trying just to make sense
I don't listen to the radio just the engine and the road
I wonder if my words are makin' any difference

I dream and then it seem to end
But always come again

The Click Five - Don't Let Me Go

get a life!

we went to the same school together, 5 years but in a different class, and hey, we've got some lovely pictures together! now, we had left the high school for like 9-10 years ago, we've chatted, we've talked and all the while, i seriously thought you were that good as your looks. until this year, you showed us your true color. and it's so yucks. You were so busy bitching me behind my back when all the while, i thought we were friend. i dont know whats have got on your mind, but seriously, my life is NOT your business. Honey, you dont have to be that kind to tell the world whats ive been up to, who im dating with, im jobless or whatsoever.

you're so fake just like your 10inch make up.

You seriously needs a large self-renovations. life is short, if you dont know.

My advise, BANK is not suits for you, maybe Journalist. you can have the good point of being so busy-body.

oh, i had purposely deleted your BFF in my fb, but you? no.. not going to delete. yet. or not now. let's just play the game you have started. let's just tell the world how purely nice you are, shall we?

OW, and get a life :)

Don't be boring, wear cute dress!

life is short. live to the fullest :D

Vintage.

gaining my confidence!

so, basically, i woke up this morning and went to bath,

finished bathing, then searching through my closet

well, here's the thing, i saw my black BABY-T which i havent wore like forever.. i simply took it out and put it on. i looked at the mirror and omg, i fit perfectly in this baby-t.

i wanna cry :P

i can wear it and i dont have to hold my breath!!

i went out and showed it to my mum.

me: Mum, tingu sa muatttt. teda nampak buruyut sudaa

Mum: ish, tia gumuk mum bilang tu, jan perasan gumuk ba..

me: nda, mum, sa bilang sa kurus suda. teda nampak buruyut suda.

Mum: ooooo..

but anyway, i dont have the model body indeed, but i can fit S size!

it's a wonderful world!! i really wanna cry!

i need a new jeans. HAHAHA

everything happened for a reason. i can never be this lidi if im not sick. it's misery but i thanked God for His plan :P

welcome back, confidence!

mintapuji dulu aaa..

Amazing Race Asia: 4

ive been a fan of The Amazing Race Asia since season 1!

ok, i lied. i started watching Asia's only from Season 2. Pamela & Vanessa Chong represent Malaysia!! then only i browsing back the Asia's Season 1. the whole episodes!

it's amazing how you can complete many tasks in a day, be in a different COUNTRies in a day,

whoa! i so love amazing race!

All d best to Malaysian Team!

Ethan and Khairie.

i just found out that Khairie is Ranau Born Man. and he's Dusun!

more and more support!!

semangat. HAHA

Nurse?

i dream of becoming a nurse longgg time ago, but i let the chances slip away most of the time, Dad kept asking me to be nurse actually. as i grew up, i learnt that .. there is a choice. i dont wanna be nurse. i wanna do something else. Ah well, my dad spent my whole jobless-time nagging of how i became so choosy. hehe seriously, how can we possibly go to work 8 hours every weekdays and not liking it. it just brings more pressure. and pressure is not a good thing.

anyway, that's not the point. it's a different story here. lol. do we call the staff in private clinic nurse or just staff? i went to Klinik Elopura last Thursday with my colleague, Kak Jo. we both had fever/flu/cough, and surprisingly, d staff was so rude to us. she yelled and treat us like some kind of moron. duh. luckily, Kak Jo knows how to repay her rudeness. Serve her right!

due to the great pain i felt, I went again to the same clinic Last Sunday (our panel, that's explain why) there were 3 of us waiting to see the doctor. so, i registered at 12 noon, and guess what? my turn was only at 2.30pm. it's a LONG wait -___- since my condition was getting worst, i went again to see a doctor at Hospital Duchess of Kent on Monday's midnight. All i got was injections on my right hand. but nothing goes wrong that day.

On Wednesday's afternoon, an ambulance took me from my cousin's house to the same Hospital. Again. soon after i arrived at the emergency, there's this nurse came to my bed and geez, she got the Lion Face. she asked me several questions, but i didnt really hear what she said since i concentrated more on fighting the pain. and trust me, it was really2 hurt! suddenly, this nurse came closer to my face and yelled

" Oi, Ko faham Bahasa Melayu ka tidak??!!! "

i tried to hold my pain, and looked at her, weakly said,

" tia payah mau marah-marah ba...... "

and she went away. omg. i still can clearly remember her face! cant she sees my pain?

Dad & Mum brought me back to Ranau the next day, and i was hospitalized again at Hospital Ranau for a week! the Good news is, the nurses in Hospital Ranau are way nicer than in Duchess Kent. at least, i dont have to bear the feeling of hating the nurses, lol, they're more friendly and awesome! :D

why the D.Kent's nurse have to be that rude? she should know better that she's dealing with people in PAIN. people that hurting. she should know that. but ah well, i guess she left her brain somewhere on the road that day. that's why she cant think smart. emm, God bless her.

will be extra careful after this.

oh btw, i lost 5kg in a week!!! :D

Resting Peacefully.

Dear Grandma,
You fly away so soon, leaving us behind
But God loves you the most
He wants you by His side
and
we know you will live happily up there..

Rest In Peace
we will always love you

Whitney from The City

fashion and she's my fav!

Hugs and Kisses

Bestfriend are kisses blown to us by Angels :)

which strengthen me.

BAPA YANG KEKAL

Kasih yang sempurna telah

Ku t’rima dariMu

Bukan kar’na kebaikanku

Hanya oleh kasih karuniaMu

Kau pulihkan aku, layakkan ku

‘tuk dapat memanggilMu, Bapa

Kau b’ri yang kupinta

Saat ku mencari, ku mendapatkan

Ku ketuk pintuMu, dan Kau bukakan

S’bab Kau Bapaku, Bapa yang kekal

Takkan Kau biarkan

Aku melangkah hanya sendirian

Kau selalu ada bagiku

S’bab Kau Bapaku, Bapa yang kekal

English Translation:

The perfect love

have I received from You

Not because of my goodness

But by the love You give freely

I was restored by You, You make me worthy

To call you Father

You gave me whatever I requested

Everytime I search, I will find

I knocked at Your door , and You opened it

Because you are my Father, my everlasting Father

You would not let

Me take a step alone

You were always there for me

Because you are my Father, my everlasting Father

It's okay, health is a priority now!

See you some other time!

really sad i missed this morning's flight :(

anyways, Have fun Roy & Ena :)

bring back lots of goodies!

one fine morning.

i practically didnt remember some of what i had said and done during my stay in ward. so, a day after i recovered, here's this nurse woke me up for d injectionS process.

Nurse: ko ingat ka pa ko buat sebelum ni?

Me: yg mana?

Nurse: yg ko menyanyi2 tu

Me: .... *blur*

Bro: ya, yg ko menyanyi d atas katil, ko pigang2 gitar d perut.

Me: ....

Nurse: sa da rakam tu, ko mau tingu?

Bro: ko lumpat2 d katil sambil menyanyi tu

Me: ...

Me whispering to bro: serius ba da sa nyanyi lumpat2?

Bro: Nda ba, klu da ko kana ikat suda lor sini.

Me: Cis!!

Im okay now :)

i should be on the bed, lying n resting now.. but it gets really sick to just lie all day long.

so, here i am : BLOGGING. lol

short update:

i was hospitalized since last week for some un-known reason &

im HOME, FINALLY!!!!!!

it's been really hard for me to go through those days but THANK God, all of my dearly person were there, helping and lifting me up, tho i feels so wanna give up!

Thank You to my dearest Family :)

Mum, Dad, Bros & sisters for everything. for taking care of me 24 Seven.

you guys are the BEST i ever had!

Thank You to my dearest Cousins, Girlfriends, Guy-friends, Aunties, Uncles, Bed-neighbors and everyone who text, calls and prayed for me. There's nothing else i can say for your utmost attention and care, but

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

& to those who get hurts when im happy ; May God bless you :)