Sunday, February 28, 2010

Air of Perth

Morning guys. im freezing here. really cold & windy and i cant sleep.. luckily, i have my buddy jacket with me all the time. hihi.. we'll be on board in a shortwhile, one thing that's good about this airport - it has free internet access! Weee! :D awesome, awesome!

In a few hours, we'll be back to kl. Yay. Gavin and Roger did sms Leng to wish for our safety journey, they're cool! :D 

We'll be back again in winter :D Aussie rocks! Cheers!


Saturday, February 27, 2010

Times moving.

Huh. It's the second last day here :)
It's a FUN and enjoyable trip.. Lots and lots of new things been discovered.
but i missed our local food pretty much. hehe

Heading to airport soon.
Take care everyone.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Get me out from here!

suddenly everything came back to me again..
im soo tired :( :( :(
i wanna escape from this blue. soon i hope.
even im hundred of miles away, it's still hunted me.

i have a nice photograph in my head right now, to be painted on my body. huahaha

Sincere from inside

Im tired.. both physically & mentally.
I seriously dunno where im heading to ................. in life.

thinking of getting a new tattoo!!


Caversman Wildlife Park

Tired! but it's worth :D that's something i actually cannot complaint cause i did actually enjoyed it. hehe Today, we going to Caversman Wildlife Park which tooks about 50-40 minutes to reach there, switching two buses with two FRIENDLY bus drivers :).. hehe We got to see Kanggaroo and Koala!!!!! my first time, honestly.. Ive never seen one in Sabah or any other heritage site.. :) But they were.. OMG! pretty cute!! esp the koalas.. they sleep for like 20 hours a day.. to save energy. Funny how it sounds since they'll only wake up for 4 hours to dispose their energenies? But they're awesome!! :D and it's FREAKING HOT there.. i almost pengsan!! huhu.. One of the park's staff mentioned that the heat was rising to 52 degree.. and it's not usual than any other Summer season. Summer in Aussie kills us. huh.

Later in the evening, we went to Beach.. one of Swan Lake's area i supposed? or was it Calmont area? I dunno. i forgot. but the place is damn beautiful!! Lots and lots of swan on the sand, many couples/families/friends were chilling out there.. Some surfing, some walking, some kissing.. ouch! hehe But it was a lovely place. I bet it's more beautiful in the morning, but we just cant stand the heat. Then we headed to one of the bar on the side.. Leng's friend took us there, to listen music and dancing. Headache caused me to stay still on the seat. I didnt moved but ONLY to the toilet. Plus, i cannot contact my man :( Which turns to be really sad for me -_- anyway, they were absolutely fun! Friendly and nice :) hehe they believes im 15 years old and no BEER! haha perasan eh kana ckap 15,

Well, tomorrow's waiting for us to discover. new place, new experience to gain :)
will update again.
to someone back at home, i miss you.


Wednesday, February 24, 2010


Phew! long journey today.. from our Billabong Resort, we walked on our foot to the city - and almost at its end : Victoria Lake. Yes, taking picture everywhere is a MUST! hahaha but i cannot stand the heat, it's burning my skin slowly and i seriously look like om suda. haha. It's a big city anyway :)

a little update from me. Take care guys.

Wednesday morning :)

Yay! landed safely here in the international airport. tho the plane was shaking on its landing.. which scared me .. :P and along the journey from kl to here did gives me headache! 7-6 hours on the plane, but the waiting is worth more than anything :D

It's 43 degree at the moment.. panas gila!! we'll be back with our new colour. Original tanned :P hehe oh, all so far, all the aussie lads are awesome and friendly :)

will update more soonest!
to my family, my girlfriends and my darling : see you soon!

cheers! xoxo

Monday, February 22, 2010

Excited and Overwhelming :)

Few more hours before flying :)
and i haven't actually finished packing :P


Sunday, February 21, 2010

Morning Glory.

Dang! i thought yesterday was Sunday. It's weird to wake up on the actual Sunday morning and realized how times moved slower than you actually thought.. and you have to go through the day for the second time.
Did i missed anything yesterday?

My body aching all over.. from my back to my hand.. I seriously think im getting OLDER each passing day *sigh. i used to be the person who dont remember my age but now, it seems to visit me often than it used to be and the convincing things worked pretty well. yeah, Im OLD. . . heck, why should i worry something that cant be changed?

but as Glee said : Don't stop believing!
In any things you do, there's always a hope.


Right now, if i have the chance, all i wanna do is..

over this town

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Hello sunday!

Bella : Is there anything i can do, at least, to make you happy?
Edward : You makes me happy by only breathing..


He's sweet!! :D

Hi guys, happy Sunday :D i woke up quite early this morning, it is so not me.. but to stop my mum from keep on nagging, i choose to Obey. :P Anyway, It's a lovely morning to starts with, i got to spend my quality times with my Damien Ryan.. He's been acting really cold to me for the pass few days but sukurrr.... he finally allow my inner-auntie-spirit to show hehe and to reason why mum and me kidnapped him this morning, because of the lion dance.. :D He's so scared, and it's cute. haha because he kept tighten his hand on my arms, it's kinda sweet esp when you dont have your everyday to spend with him. fyi, no matter how scared he was in front of the lion, he still kept asking us to follow it :D brave one :P even hiding inside. haha


i cant wait to have a baby of my own. muahahahahahaha!
macam sinang. wah!

Hupp, Tomorrow's waiting for us to discover!
I have so many things on my mind now -_-

But no worries, let just be happy, shall we?

Friday, February 19, 2010

a little wise

no one can take that title away from me, seriously, AND im not proud if it no matter what. hoho
I caught myself spending lots of times with sleeping and TV nowadays.. ever since i moved back to the lovely Ranau. It shows how malas i am.. i do some houseworks still, but as i told you, i did the same routine almost everyday! it gets a little boring sometimes.. huh. at times, i didnt like the time passing me by that soon but now, i like how faster it goes. Hihi. I'll be heading to kk tomorrow's afternoon, mau p tunjuk bintang later in the evening and shopping on Sunday with my sister. cant wait, cant wait. We'll be on board in this coming next few days. i should been doing my packing at the moment but i still dunno what to bring -_- im EXCITED juga ni. FINALLY, i'll be flying there ; one in my top wishing list :D

AMERICAN IDOL!! finally to its 24's finalist! I love Casey and Didi. They have a unique yet beautiful voice. i wish i can sing and play the instrument like them, it awesome!! Hopefully they will make it to the top 12. Finger crossed guys!

Oh, my dad has a FB! OMG!! it's kinda funny for me since we, the whole family are now, own a fb. Esp my parents.. now, i have to berebut with my dad. Last time, it's my mum. now, BOTH. Nightmare!! dush dush!!

Breaking Dawn update : Bella is PREGNANT!! :D and it's really cool to have a baby with a vampire.. and how the child will soon become Bella's bestfriend-crush, Jacob's girlfriend. [complicated as it seems] haha i think i have a crush on Seth. the 15 years old wolf. he's cute. from how he react. hoho

That's it. :D another stories for another day. til then, cheers!

" Pleasure of love lasts but a moment, Pain of love lasts a lifetime " - Bette Davis

Thursday, February 18, 2010

I can make it through the rain ♥

When you get caught in the rain with no where to run
When you're distraught and in pain without anyone

when you keep crying out to be saved
but nobody comes
And you feel so far away
That you just can't find your way home
You can get there alone
It's okay, what you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And everytime I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

And if you keep falling down don't you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound, so keep pressing on steadfastly
And you'll find what you need to prevail
What you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And everytime I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I'll make it through the rain

And when the rain blows, as shadows grow close don't be afraid
There's nothing you can't face
And should they tell you you'll never pull through
Don't hesitate, stand tall and say-ay-yeah-yeah-hey-ey

*Mariah Carey*


Stupid Monkey.

Howie guys.
Last night sharply at 23:46 i finally finished the Eclipse! Hurray!
and Here we come, Breaking Dawn!
Jacob went missing somewhere in the southern Canada -_-
But YES, Bella is officially become the Cullen! :D

Okay, i know. People finished reading these for PERIOD already and i had just started. But.. who cares! Haha

Anyway, i woke up really late today due to kemalasan disease
and went out to settle some things like altering my clothes, Laminated my IC and internet. I havent got the time yet to go Celcom Centre to fix my modem :( will off to kk this saturday and it's weekend! it's dancing day hehehehe ' Oooo.. you got me hatin in the club... ooo'

We were surprised by those stupid people last night.. was it last night? No.. It's EARLY in the morning.. i mean, Too Early for me and my family to wake up just because of the stupid people. A bunch of a freak monkeys came to our house aroud 4-5 AM, looking for my little brother because they accused him to broke someone's car when in truth, my brother was at his room with his friends jamming all day. hearing the truth, the monkey then said it's my little brother's brother who did the damage. Dont they know he's the youngest? Stupid asshole. Dad was really mad at my brother cause he actually believes the monkey's. Stupid eh? YES. Mum being herself as always, do the comforting in between. Luckily, the monkeys were gone before Dad pointing his PISAU RAMBO to them :P To those monkeys, next time check dulu.. We dont have time for this drama. we need sleep. Esp ME. that's why i woke soo late :P [alasan lagi..] budus kan ni orang. kalau sa tau nama dorang ni, sa tulis suda basar-basar. Bikin samak d dunia seja.

Well.. let's end this with a smile, shall we? hehe

Til then ladies and gent, Have a shining day.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Ghost whisperer

Been hearing voices lately and it's totally freaking me out. Especially when you thought they're REALLY there but you cannot see them. Like what happened yesterday, around 7.45pm or something.. I was sitting on the couch, watching the TV, alone and suddenly i heard my mum calling me from downstairs... it goes something like this ' Niiiiee' very loud and clear. fyi, I have 3 empty houses as my neighbours

i went to the balcony right after, watching around.. and calling my mum.. for a several times. I even went to the stairs to check if she was there. but i see no one but the puppies playin biting each other.. anyway, i grabbed my phone, called my mum.

Mum: Hello
Me: mami mana?
Mum: Rumah Anty Masnah, kenapa?
Me: Owh....

and i hung up. I tried to get on my sense again, to convince myself that maybe im being too paranoid of something. Then the afternoon incident flashed on my mind.. trying to find the connection between these two.

That afternoon
, i was lying on my bed while reading my book.. - alone. It was a fine afternoon.. when suddenly the light on my bedroom was on. It seems like somebody had switched the light on. Second after, the fan was also ON. i was like ..... okay.. Nobody's at home. FOR SURE. i looked at the switch, and figuring how it can functioned automatically -itself -alone. Hurm. I swear i havent touched the switch that afternoon.


maybe i owned the skills to switched them on - from a distance? I dunno.
maybe i have a friend but i cannot actually see him/her thru my eyes. i dunno
maybe im too stressed that these happen as my imagination? i dunno.

Owh, ive been hearing voices for a week already!
terrified eh. but hopefully, nothing bad will happen la. huhuhu

Trust in God :D hehehe

Chinese New Year's goodies

The best thing on earth are shared - carlsberg


Monday, February 15, 2010

Boring Monday.

Nothing much to do today.. it goes almost the same like previously. Looks like i'll be having the same routine for next couple of days *sigh. Yes, it's totally BORING! but im in-making few plans for next Sunday & Monday now.. like movies and window shopping :D i have VALENTINE'S DAY on my mind now - Taylor Swift and Taylor Jacob are in that movie. should be interesting :D

& lots of famous stars on it!
Tia mau missed!

Im still in the mood to finish my Eclipse.. i remember i first read it on last christmas, my sister ordered from US since KK was out of stock.. My aunty saw it and she asked if it's a normal reading book.. i replied " no, lain dari yang lain" and she said " Ooo.. mcm BIBLE ni "

Trus t'diam ni. BAIKLAH. hahaha. Tebal ba mcm bible. hehehe

and its' brother waiting for me to be read.

I cant wait to know the ending. I want a SATISFY ending. Oh, before me and my sister went out just now, we actually sempat watched HIP KOREAN which tells a story about the charming Rain. Baru tauu ni banyak-banyak pasal dia. He grew up in a sad way.. His mom passed away before he released his first album. He work really hard for his life. Pretty sad :(

Sarangheo Jung Ji Hoon @ Rain!
All d best in your life.

Should REALLY stop blogging for now.
Til then.. Cheers!

The feeling that cannot be endured

i wonder what you might be doing now.
This is for you

Cuti-cuti SABAH.

Last month, me and my two darlings - Calleigh and Gomoi were on the plane to Sandakan. A 45 minutes journey did excited us since it's my second time step on this land.. And the first time was in YEARS before :P Cuti-cuti Sabah :D supports your local tourism! haha

It was a fun journey ^^ We stayed at Tyng Garden Hotel and went to Rainforest, Sepilok, Taman Buaya, Agnes Keith's House, English Tea House, Midnight sneaks of the city and some other places :D

and i have a surprised romantic dinner at Sabah Hotel on the second day's evening :') It was memorable! and i wore my black silver dress on that night :P i ate ABC means LOVE YOU and the mixed ice cream which means MISS YOU. so sweet!! :')

before there's more sparkling fall on my cheeks.. :P let browse through these some pictures which im gladly to share with you all :D

This was during our walks through the jungle! I thought we'll passed some unique & beautiful lodges which turn out it was TREES along the way. It's awesome. i always fond on nature :D

Calleigh on the Canopy. She's a real monster. i mean, she walking on it like she's not on the hundred feets from the ground. She dont even care the height! *salute*

Below : Gomoi at the Sepilok.
It was raining heavily soon after they feed the monkeys/orang utans, i had to run on my heels! and i falled - Urgh.

Later ;

we bought a Sepilok's shirts which cost MYR45.00 each since we're blessed with the rain. Oh, and we headed to Taman Buaya.. It's 30 minutes before they closed the place. Lucky us! :P Yes, thousand of crocodiles were relaxing there.
There's a baby monkey!
She/He's cute to death!

This is Agnes Keith's house.
We seriously think and sure, we did saw Agnes' Daughter & Granddaughter. They look alike pretty much!

Below ;
She's the waitress at the English Tea House.
Very sombong and sooo not friendly.
we have money bha!
but i like her uniform.
Gomoi said she's sooo match with her orang gaji during her stay in UK.

Memorial Park.
I love the trees.. it reminds me of Twilight.
Was i on the screen too? :p


i miss Gentingmas. They have many cheaps fake eyelashes, its glue and many other things!! :P anyway, Speaking of twililght, i make a vow to myself.. to finish the Eclipse this week [ hundred of pages left ] cause i wanna spend my 12-hours on the plane with Breaking Dawn next week! Phew! times did running sooo fast! but im glad it did.

That's it for now, cheers! :D

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Gong Xi Fa ChAi!

Gong Xi Ni .. Gong Xi Ni..
[ when i blogged just now, i forgot today's chinese new year, until i saw my brother's FB! :P ]

To all my chinese friends and relatives ;
Many lucks
Many properties
Many Angpow
Many Food?

Have a blast aa!

Yesterday, around 4.10pm my buddy fetch me di rumah and straightly we heading to Cely's house. Semangat mau gong xi, gong xi.. hehe We helps them before all the guest started to arrive around 6pm.. I ate alot ni. Until my perut grew bigger than usual :P Oh, Ranau macam sedang bperang ni semalam. semua pun compete with each other bakar mercun/bunga api! Tapi it was pretty awesome!!! Tho i lost my JANTUNG sooo many times last night, the firecrackers was damn beautiful!! I was on the phone with him when the first firecracker exploded. I scream sooo loud and he was like :

what happen? what happen?

Kesian dia.

We used to go Aunty's Utut house every CNY'S eve but not this year, cause aunty's brother had just passed away last year.

Well anyway folks,
Gong xi fa chai!! :D

*will update with more pictures*

Purple for March 13th

We'll be wearing purple for my sister's wedding this coming March~
I dont have to do all the planning since it'll be held at the Groom's residence.
Our house? We havent decide the date.. yet.
But im eager to plan for the ceremony.. haha
So, few weeks left before the actual date.. i have to make purple dress/baju kurung. Still. dunno what kind of clothes it will be. Maybe a dress with a baby jacket or baju kurung. Gosh, give me ideas!! :D

so, here's some dress i managed to google.

No idea! ... yes, im more excited than my sister.. haha!! she have all the dress already okay, and all of them are lovely! :D so, i should find the one that match with the wedding......... by now :P

will update!

February, 14th 2010

Happy Valentine's Day people!!

O yeahhh.. It's a day for the lovers and the lovers wannabes. I used to tell people that my birthday fall on this date :P and many of them believes. haha! Tell you the truth, supposedly, im the February's child which was ONLY delivered on July, 3th! after Few months passed! haha HAPPY VALENTINE's DAY!! I didnt actually celebrate it, only staying at home and went out with my sister this afternoon.. the only person i have to date with is my sister :P

In theory, i only knew today is the day for all the sinta-sinta ( and for me, everyday's valentine! :D ).. In practical, i usually spend 'today' with hang around with my buddies and man like years before, and i also knew today is the day im supposed to go out dating with someone.. Not because of the VALENTINE's spirit, but because of the supposed-monthsary-day for me and him :( It's too complicated to mention here.. I seriously hope we both can hang out together soon without hiding like how two close friends should be :)

i miss the moments when everything was on my feet - NORMAL and FREEDOM?

Good days will come after those rough days i guess.. and by that time arrives, i want to hold it tightly, cherish it to the fullest, bring it close to my heart and will never let it fly .. again :)

But anyway, this video reminds me of those days :')

Good days will come, remember? hehe.. well, that's it for now folks. Have a wonderful days ahead.. Happy Lover's day!! :)

This IS my favourite! :D

Cheers everyone!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Pull the trigger?

Take a breath, take it deep
Calm yourself, he says to me
If you play, you play for keeps
Take a gun, and count to three
I’m sweating now, moving slow
No time to think, my turn to go

[Chorus ]

And you can see my heart beating
You can see it through my chest
And I’m terrified but I’m not leaving
Know that I must must pass this test
So just pull the trigger

Say a prayer to yourself
He says close your eyes
Sometimes it helps
And then I get a scary thought
That he’s here means he’s never lost


As my life flashes before my eyes
I’m wondering will I ever see another sunrise?
So many won’t get the chance to say goodbye
But it’s too late too pick up the value of my life


One afternoon with the Japanese Lad.

Ok, so this is how the stories goes.

5 years ago, when i was still working with the tourism company, me and friend were expecting of a Japanese guests ( which was a bug group of the day ) to arrive. That moment, my friend brought this Japanese dictionary for us to communicate well with them, since .. u know, some japanese cant really understand english right.. so, I learn 'Ogenki Desuka' which means How Are You.. I tried to look for others words but i cannot memorize them well.. until the Japanese came to our counter.. with a big smile on his face, he said:


I goes : Hi, Konnichiwa!

Him : Oohh, konnichiwa san!

I replied : Ogenki Desuka?

Him: Ooo.. Ogenki... bla bla... bla... bla (all in japan)

I looked at him, looking so blurry yet giving him a confidence looks and replied : Hehehehehehe..

and he asking: bla bla bla bla bla?? (again, in japan.. but i seriously dunno what was it)

Me: hehehe.. anyway sir, you want to check in?

Him: ????

Hahaha! padan muka sendiri! Men pandai-pandai kan. hahaha me and friend trying our best to hold our laughter! geez.. it's a disease haha

Anway, moral of the story : Len ari, jan pandai2 :D

That's it for now, til then, cheers!

Countdown to CNY.

Changed my layout! hehe to start a fresh new life :D Was thinking alot last night, im glad everything back to the way it used to be already.. My thought buried with my dreams last night, owh.. The dream was freaking weird actually. The faces came back to me.. again ; i think i have to meet them pretty soon to make things clear. Hurm.

@ kfc now, is here for more than 2 hours already.. haha! my seat's neighbor keep changing.. and im still here. but who cares anyway? i paid my food! and i still have my cheesy wedges here :D By the way, will be gathering with my two darlings tomorrow.. There's a family dinner at Cely's cribs tomorrow.. and we're invited :') hehe i always took her family like my own.. hehehe Both cely and cycak will have a long holiday.. geez, i dont have to spend my time aloneee for a week :d yay! Gomoi will be celebrating CNY at her husband's home in Sibu, Mimut in KL and Ujie? hope to meet her here :D

I dont wanna stuck at home - alone.. It's sooo not kwel :(
TV? Karaoke? Internet? Food?
Nothing of these can changed my mood

1 more week before fly off! Geez... cannot wait, cannot wait..
Im running out of clothes!!
I need to find a new one!

Well, another day is gone. Hopefully, tomorrow will bring more sunshine to me. Cheers! keep on walking ninie! :D

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Bubbling Heart.

Today's very challenge day for me..
the image of me hanging on the fan was clearly show on my eyes.
I cannot stand the pain but gladly .. i managed to get through this afternoon..
Thank God! T_T

A + S?
It wont kills me for sure..
I miss him :'(

Life goes on.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Silence, Emptiness, And Confusion

Silence builds an awful wreckage of a girl
It feeds on loneliness and creates a void
Gray shadows haunt and torment and torture
A teenager is stricken and destroyed

There is no sound of laughter or happiness here
The little one has thrown in the towel today
Somber, melancholy moods decay the soul
It is futile to hope and dream and pray

Emptiness builds a home in this woman
In this girl, this child where hollows have bred
A deepening sea of nowhereness consumes
And eats away at every connecting thread

Confusion feeds like a savage inside her,
Leaving nothing considered worthy remains
Destined to walk through life less ordinary
Alone, exiled, different and disdained.

*by bek


i had a weird dream last night, i try to recall of what was it about, but i cant.. And i woke up with a very sad feeling inside.. i feel like crying.. It's a feeling that i cannot describe in words. All the faces that i knew came across in my mind this morning, each .. staring at me, with the looks that i never thought i'll received.

I dunno.

In that dream,
I killed myself.
It was very strange feeling.. i die and i watched myself lying on the ground hopeless, motionless and no one's there but me. It was indeed a nightmare for me, maybe it's a sign?

But i guess, if everyone hates me, maybe it's better if i should just gone from their life. Maybe that makes a better world. Ive never meant to hurt them.. Maybe i should stop thinking about myself and starts to focus on their needs/wants instead? Maybe i should just stop making my own decision and let them do it on behalf?

i dunno.

Anyway, i was thinking..If i can go somewhere, far from here.. to have the time of my own? There's thousand of feeling i need to let out, but i still cant find the right words.. *sigh

If i knew?

This song did shows how i feel a bit :)

Nung noilaanku do momudut koh
au oku ih daa rumolohon dika
boros dino munung nu
oomis irad do gula
onu kah poh lo kilau nga moi tila

Nung noilaan ku do insan tadau
Lumuyud ilo bawang koliangau
au oku daa tumumos
papataan do bangkala
nung oilaan ku orulun kumaa id sawa

baino ginawo kopurimanan do opodi
piginawaan natagak doid tanga ralan
nung noilaan ku kiwaro simpang do ralan
mompus oku id ralan pagalan

nung noilaan ku orualan oku
au ku romiton ino ponsusuau nu
au nodii agampot janji toh misanganu
tumodo noh ambalut baino mamanau oku


hope for a sunshine ahead.

Monday, February 8, 2010

A new resolution and a commitment of doing it.

i suppose going back Ranau today but i missed the bus/taxi/unser :( I have an open ticket for KK-RANAU-KK anyway!! It's for within 3 months :D Ah well, overnight @ kk for another day should be fine.. tho my families urged me to go back today.. They worried, i understand. Owh, i tried to think about my 2010's resolution these days, yes.. a month passed but it's never too late to make one :D I have these in mind ;

To prove them i can manage my own life without burdening them

To makes my family satisfy with everything i do - including things they like and dislike

To makes them HAPPY

To have a permanent job and a car, at least.

To be an independent LADY.

Hopefully i can fulfilled these ^^ im 26 years old this year, i should have learn to manage my life, i depends too much with my family and my loved ones.. i should have doing something for them in return.. i found myself thinking too much this time around :( and i think, it's a bad thing :D

well, life goes on.

Take Me away :')

Take me away to January
I'm done with this year, I'm tired of everyone here.
I just need some time alone,
Before I'm ready to come back home.
There's got to be something else out there for me
I could feel it in my heart the day I started to dream
There's more than this Midwestern town,
I can't let this place keep me down.

Sunday Freak.

Fuh! whatta day.
I felt like a million stones rest on my shoulder.
Going back to Ranau tomorrow - i hope everything going to be just fine. huhuhu.. I seriously dunno how to explain to my dearest family nemore. I lost my words. But one thing for sure, Ive never meant to hurt any of them. Esp my parents.. i love them to death :( and hurting them is the last thing on my mind. Things happened anyhow. i cant turn back the time and i know sayin is sorry is not enough to fix everything. i wish i can do something that will satisfy everyone. *sigh* feel extremely bad. I tried to ignore and forget all these craps but it keeps hunting me. I dream and woke up with a weird dream this subuh/morning. I dunno how to describe it best but i knew, something is going on. bad/good. both. *sigh

Well, guess blogging is the only way i can do to express how i feel. The most important persons were there for me when i need them the most. I love them :( and i feel SO SO SO SO sorry to my mum and dad. I didnt mean to hurt you both. :( If you knew me well. you'll know im not doing it because for fun, but because i really am into it :(

Fuh. It's very challenge myself. I know im strong enough to fight this till the end. to Convince them that im still their little sister/daughter. The same person but with her own decision in life. I know im still learning, and im not that independent girl they see.. but hopefully, someday i can prove them that i can do things on my way, with their support :)

I skip clubbing today. hahaha! Yes, it sounds bad to certain people, but as long you didnt do any bad things like drugs etc. i think, it's one of the perfect place you can actually release and enjoy yourself, esp when you have the chance to dance to any move you want. hehehe .. it's fun :) It's almost 1 am in the morning, but im still wandering here @ McD :D hehehe.. lepas ni, mau cari kawan mau p tingu Ponds @ Auuuww. hehehehehe :D Owh, and i miss Burger King's onion ring. It's way better than i have now..

Well, that's it. Pray so i can come back home safely :D
Cheers! xoxo.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Having a blast!

Located exactly at McD at this moment. Wi-fi, wi-fi. My modem broken ba tiba-tiba ni, terpaksa minta ehsan dari mana2 kedai yg da wi-fi. hehehe Anyway, now i started to like clubbing :P i danced without thinking of what others' judge.. Love it. Love it :D at least, im having fun. Aries, Nina, Ken, my Dr, and lots of name i didnt actually dont know. hahaha. but it was great. awesome. The band best ni!!

Sad thing happened actually and i felt terribly sorry :( i lost my words already. I really dunno how to explain anymore. I am more like Que Sara Sara lately, Whatever will be, will be..

Oh, JANE!! my dearest buddy. She's engaged! and without my knowing????? huhuhu. but im sooo happy for her :) they meant for each other. They looks sweet together.. hehe will, jaga daling sa bagus2 aa.. :D

Ah well, whatta day. Tomorrow i'll be meeting with two VVIP - very very important Princess! Gomoi and Ujie. hehehe :D will update soon!! gotta go.

Nite2 everyone.

p/s: ive got a nice baby-T today :')

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Take Me away :')

Hello everyone :)
Today started with a laughter, a doubt, a wondering, and a blast ^^ yet, ending with a tears. well, i mean. almost :') Im heading from Ranau to KK dis morning, then straightly went to Putatan. some things need to be settled down. Owh, im glad to meet all those folks. they remembered my name :P that what's count the most :D haha. Met Aries, then went to Papar for his cousin's wedding. First time ever to served only with kuih-muih - tapi sedap juga hehe. fyi, me in Baju Kurung :P at least, i make myself as part of the family. hahaha. and the pelamin was Fabulous!

After Papar, we stopped by at Aries' house for grooming, esp the clothes ya. we later went to Rumba. Yareehai! :D it was my first time, yes. congratulations! haha. i mean, to be in Rumba. We danced all night long. it was awesome, i danced like nobody seeing. i even jumped. and scream. haha! I want Nobody Nobody but you! :D love d dance. Anyway, im having a blast yeah.. Maybe a little bit mabuk la kan... Release tension ba :(

Then, went to Sadong but i stayed at car - sleeping while listening to all the nicest songs.. Lullaby.. *Wink* and went to Kingfisher. Luckily, Roxanne picked up my phone :') otherwise, i'll be ended up sleeping on the highway, or even any streets i found :P haha.

Ah well, guess i cant tell you guys exactly the reason of me being sooo sad. I felt guilty instead. i feel so sorry for THEM. I hope one day, i can clear all this things up. To make everyone happy. I love my mother so much. No doubt. but im basically trapped right now. Huhu.

But this songs did shows how i feel right now :)

Take me away to January
I'm done with this year, I'm tired of everyone here.
I just need some time alone,
Before I'm ready to come back home.
There's got to be something else out there for me
I could feel it in my heart the day I started to dream
There's more than this Midwestern town,
I can't let this place keep me down.

So I tell myself,

"There's a girl out on the coast of California,
There's a world out there and it's waiting for you."
And I can hear them calling my name tonight.

Take me away, I need the sand and the waves
The sunset and lets not forget those warm autumn days
I just need to get out of here.
And visit the coast just to see her.
There's got to be something else out there for me.
I could feel it in my heart the day I started to dream.
There's more than this Midwestern town.
I can't let this place keep me down

So I tell myself,

"There's a girl out on the coast of California,
There's a world out there and it's waiting for you."
And I can them it calling my name tonight.

Take me away to January
I'm done with this year I'm tired of everyone here
I just need some time alone
Before I'm ready to come back home.

* Somehow i believe there'll be a rainbow after a storm. To everyone whom i accidently hurt, Im truly sorry. I love you guys.. :(

Thursday, February 4, 2010


My mind sicks at the moment. been thinking about everything ALOT. it's so not kwel :'( but anyway.. Im going to make a vow this year. hahahaha! i mean, to travel more than 3 countries at least. new environment, new cultures, new people and new experience! :D

and :
i want to have a permanent job!!
i want to grow my hair longer
i want to be a lady :P
i want to be his
i want to have my own car

But who say it wont be fulfilled?


i told you my mind cant work right recently. hoho.
I miss my girls and my bestfriends during my 3 years Dip time.
Owh, i want toooo make friends with PERTH's people. at least, one? :P


and, i hate the guy sitting next to me. cause he's keep peeping on what im doing, searching or even clicking. SOT!


Owh, my bro's gf is at home now. she's getting prettier, esp her hair. i miss my long hair :( even it's already berbuah-buahan banyak. huhuhu and her friend, Pearl is cool! altho they keep sayin OMG.OMG.OMG. even the sapi they said KERBAU. hehe. ENTERTAINMENT ba. im not laughing, i swear.

oh, again. im in love with KOREAN songs, movies and guys? No. cant be. Someone will get mad at me. hehe. I supposedly printing my work ba this tapi .. malas? . Nope, i wanna be the rajin girl this year and years after. belajar ba. Manatau kan. Boring ba blum kawin ni. haahahahahahahahhahahahhahaha! Getek!

Right now, i hate thinking negative. seriously. i wanna be ME. myself. to be just HAPPY. i dont wanna give those probs a damn. :D

Well, im going to make some puddings tonight ^^ :D hehehe.. yeah2.

Tomorrow? I'll be in LOVE. trust me, u dont wanna know. hahaha!

That's it. til then' chau!