Nightmare!

i had a weird dream last night, i try to recall of what was it about, but i cant.. And i woke up with a very sad feeling inside.. i feel like crying.. It's a feeling that i cannot describe in words. All the faces that i knew came across in my mind this morning, each .. staring at me, with the looks that i never thought i'll received.

Regret?
I dunno.

In that dream,
I killed myself.
It was very strange feeling.. i die and i watched myself lying on the ground hopeless, motionless and no one's there but me. It was indeed a nightmare for me, maybe it's a sign?

But i guess, if everyone hates me, maybe it's better if i should just gone from their life. Maybe that makes a better world. Ive never meant to hurt them.. Maybe i should stop thinking about myself and starts to focus on their needs/wants instead? Maybe i should just stop making my own decision and let them do it on behalf?

i dunno.

??
BINGUNG.
Anyway, i was thinking..If i can go somewhere, far from here.. to have the time of my own? There's thousand of feeling i need to let out, but i still cant find the right words.. *sigh

NUNG NOILAANKU?
If i knew?

This song did shows how i feel a bit :)

Nung noilaanku do momudut koh
au oku ih daa rumolohon dika
boros dino munung nu
oomis irad do gula
onu kah poh lo kilau nga moi tila

Nung noilaan ku do insan tadau
Lumuyud ilo bawang koliangau
au oku daa tumumos
papataan do bangkala
nung oilaan ku orulun kumaa id sawa

baino ginawo kopurimanan do opodi
piginawaan natagak doid tanga ralan
nung noilaan ku kiwaro simpang do ralan
mompus oku id ralan pagalan

nung noilaan ku orualan oku
au ku romiton ino ponsusuau nu
au nodii agampot janji toh misanganu
tumodo noh ambalut baino mamanau oku

*sigh*sigh*

hope for a sunshine ahead.
amen.